Funniest Joke Of The Week

Was made as an indirect consequence of what was possibly the least funny joke of last week, when, the comedic non-entity that is Harry Enfield made some wisecrack about encouraging his slave to "mount" a Filipino maid.

Had the maid in question been wearing a burka - or sporting dreadlocks - any "outcry" would have been all too predictable. Against the odds, it seems even the Firipinos are now all too ready to take offence at bugger all.

Not only has an online petition - protesting at the "disgraceful, gutter humour" - been established by something calling itself the "Philippine Foundation" - but back in the Filipinoland, their Foreign Secretary, one Alberto Romulo, has called in the British Ambassador, Peter Beckingham, no less, to "discuss" the broadcast.

Beckingham is quoted by the BBC as advising the Filipino Foreign Secretary that the BBC had

"editorial independence... the views expressed and portrayed by the network were "completely independent" from the government"...

Hahahahaha! A real off-the cuff classic!

Footnote: (should any po-faced Filipinos stop by this sorry excuse for a blog....)

A teenage girl (Bisaya of course) is walking down the road and meets an Amerikano.

Amerikano: Hi, young lady!

Girl: Hayang? OK.

Amerikano: Wha' happened?

Girl: Aa, wai hapin-hapin!

Now go stick that in your fucking petition, you humourless, slitty eyed fucks.

Update! It would seem that even that journalistic collossus, wannabe child-molester and self-acclaimed bien-pensant Mike Hitchen has a (cut 'n paste) take on matters Filipino....

To All Of The Moaning Bastards Out There

The ones who have been e-mailing me, whining because I haven't been blogging of late.

You know who you are. More pertinently, so do I.

Anyway, here is a post - just for you.


A European Court of Justice (ha!) ruling has determined that the UK Treasury should refund something in the order of £3,500,000 to Marks and Spencer because said Treasury have for some years wrongly defined a teacake as a biscuit. Or it might be the other way round.





Either way, the judgment is that the VAT collected since 1994 on the sale of these difficult to identify biscuits teacakes - revenue which was then forfeited by Marks and Spencer to the UK Treasury - is to be refunded.

Or is it?

A Revenue and Customs spokesperson said:

"This is a very complex judgment on which it would be premature to make any comment until the House of Lords has handed down its judgment,"


Wriggling bastards. My own accounts are disorganized complex but that doesn't stop the VAT Nazis from poking their noses in whenever it suits them.

And the point is?

Well, you might think that this posting is intellectually lite. Or trite. Shite, even. At least though, it has cost you, the British tax-payer nothing.

Question arises to me: how much do we - the tax-paying victims - pay through those taxes to fund the existence of cunts who contribute nothing more to our way of life than deciding that the sale of a Gingerbread Man with chocolate coating will attract VAT unless the chocolate used "amounts to no more than a couple of dots for the eyes"?

Utterly useless, sponging bell-ends with non-jobs.

Anyway, there's your post. Now fuck off and leave me alone. I'm off to have a good scratch now, and may post something with a little more meaning later. Or not.