Dave came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk (as he often did), and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.
Giving her a kiss on the cheek, he then fell asleep.
When he awoke, he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing, white robe.
"Who the hell are you?" demanded Dave, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?"
The mysterious man answered: "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter."
Dave was stunned: "You mean I'm dead!?!! That can't be! I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family. . . you've got to send me back straight away."
St Peter replied "Yes, you can be reincarnated, but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen."
Dave was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.
A flash of light later, and Dave found himself covered in feathers and clucking around, pecking at the ground. "This ain't so bad" he thought, until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?"
"It's not so bad", replies Dave. "But I have this strange feeling inside, like I'm about to explode?"
"You're ovulating", explained the rooster. "Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?"
"Never!" replies Dave.
"Well just relax, and let it happen", advised the rooster.
So he did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. Dave felt an immense feeling of relief sweep over him, and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.
When Dave laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that had happened to him.... ever!!!
The joy kept coming, and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting...
"Dave, wake up you drunken bastard, you've shit the bed...."
7 comments:
Gooseburger - that picture of Dave the Hen is actually Dave the cockerel,which might spoil the story , somewhat. :-)
LOL to the story Elmer!
And Julie ..... I too thought the picture of the cock was going to lead up to some other innuendo but was pleasantly surprised :-D
How you doing Elmer ..... getting to blog as often as me I see.
Ladies, it pains me to disappoint you both, but you are seeing cocks where none exist.
If only Della were here to put you right...
To alleviate your disappointment, I can however point you toward a picture of a real cock here.
Enjoy :-)
Eeek EQG hiding all your links in tiny urls so I don't know what is coming though any crossworder would have known. I stand corrected.
As for your last link, sorry you feel that way. I don't know what has gone down but tis a pity.
Best wishes
Hello Doris.
The only shame is that M Hitchen has been exposed as a filthy pervert with a penchant for spanking schoolgirls.
A disturbing, albeit entertaining read....
LOL EQG
I didn't find it entertaining, but then I didn't find it disturbing either, nor do I think it makes him any more of a filthy pervert than any of us.
What consenting adults do in private with their role play is up to them. As long as it doesn't actually involve underage people.
It does surprise me he put his real name to such stuff but then that shows he is prepared to stand by what he has written.
I'm still sorry that things have exploded somewhat, especially when it is just the "truth" everyone is after.
But this is your blog and I just want to say I'm pleased to see you are still around.
Bestest
Doris
I hope you don't mind, but I've just pinched that!
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