Back in the summer, I posted here what I consider to be the funniest joke in the world.
At the time, I tweaked the HTML settings so that the post font appeared so tiny as to be unreadable.
The only practical way to read it was to copy and paste the text into an editor, and expand the font to taste; I did this to protect the sensibilities of ladies, children, David Duff, and anyone else who might have an axe to grind.
Following a comment from dumkopf** that he was unable to copy and paste the text successfully, and refusing now to defer to all those precious types likely to complain, I reproduce below the world's funniest joke, but this time so that no one reading this page should miss it.
**Actually, the comment from dumkopf is a figleaf. The real reason behind my reposting this is that Beenzzz likes a man who talks / writes dirty. Allegedly.
“You know, the day I met you, I thought you were a cunt. And every time we’ve met since I thought you were a cunt. And it can’t just be me, because everyone who’s ever met you thinks you are a cunt, and probably everyone who will ever meet you will think you’re a cunt. In fact, you’ve got to be the second-biggest cunt in the world.”
The second guy thinks about this for a while.
“So... the day you met me you thought I was a cunt?” “Yep.” “And every day since you’ve thought I was a . . .” “Right.” “And everyone I’ve ever met thinks I’m a . . .” “You got it.” “And everyone I will ever meet will think I’m a . . .” “Uh-huh.” “So how comes”, he says, triumphantly, “I’m only the second biggest cunt in the world?” The first guy looks at him with total contempt. "Because you’re a cunt”, he says.
Both a brief illustration, and a reminder, of how today's "comedians" are not a patch on those of yesteryear.
This clip, from the 1939 movie The Flying Deuces, despite being of less than 2 minutes duration, hints nicely at the versatility of both Messrs. Laurel and Hardy.
While Ollie delights with his singing talent, it is not the moon, but Stan who really shines here.
His dancing is simply sublime (dahling!), particularly so the seamless step segue at 1.22 (or 32 secs as the YouTube clock runs in reverse...)
The film is in the public domain and can be streamed or downloaded both for free and legally(!) from here.
Courtesy of Peter Cook, I present below, what many connoisseurs (well, me, anyway) consider to be the funniest joke in the world.
Aware of the sensibilities of many women (and men), children, politicians, vicars, Popes (get on with it) the joke in all its glory has been made barely visible to the naked eye.
This is due to the gratuitously offensive nature of the language used.
The only way around this - short of buying a 104" monitor from Dell - is to copy and paste the text into a text editor, and modifying to taste.
You have, however, been warned...
There are two guys talking. The first one says: “You know, the day I met you, I thought you were a cunt. And every time we’ve met since I thought you were a cunt. And it can’t just be me, because everyone who’s ever met you thinks you are a cunt, and probably everyone who will ever meet you will think you’re a cunt. In fact, you’ve got to be the second-biggest cunt in the world.” The second guy thinks about this for a while. “So... the day you met me you thought I was a cunt?” “Yep.” “And every day since you’ve thought I was a . . .” “Right.” “And everyone I’ve ever met thinks I’m a . . .” “You got it.” “And everyone I will ever meet will think I’m a . . .” “Uh-huh.” “So how comes”, he says, triumphantly,“I’m only the second biggest cunt in the world?” “The first guy looks at him with total contempt."Because you’re a cunt”, he says.
