Cunt Of The Week

This might be the very topic that the phrase "spoilt for choice" was made for.

This is a new feature to the blog, but one which will appear very, very regularly. Weekly, even.

While Blair achieved only one thing - the taking of cuntiness to new heights - his resignation - and consequent absence from TV, radio, newspapers etc - regrettably, disqualify him from this week's competition.

Please be assured, however, that if he does manage to do anything of note now he is out of office, and we are again treated to his obnoxious grin, or his simpering, "fuck you" tones on the telly or radio, he will be the cuntidate of choice.

Until then, this week's cuntenders are:

1) The Police Chief (s?) defending the indefensible;
2) The fucking cowardly and inept PCSOs defended by the above cunt(s)
3) Gerry Fucking McCann
4) Clarence "the cunt" Mitchell
5) Richard Branson


Regrettably, neither David Duff nor Iain Dale are eligible for entry into The Cunt Of The Week competition; Duff, because he is not a cunt (he is, in fact, a nice guy) - and Dale, who is also not a cunt (but only because he is a prick).


And this week's winner is.....

Yes, in the face of strong competition - entrants including one or more British "Police" Community Support Officers who declined to jump into a pond to save a drowning child, because, wait for it, they were not "properly trained" ....the winner is....."


It' s a three-way tie!

Gerry McCann, Clarence Mitchell and Richard Branson are ALL cunts of the week (and every fucking week).

Cunts.

Next week: Cunts of the week; mixed doubles: can Kate and Gerry pull through?

Demise Of Colin McRae?

Colin McRae

Reports filter in that a helicopter, registered to Colin McRae, has crashed and burned in Strathclyde, Scotland this evening.

Rumours that McMcrae perished in the accident are currently not confirmed, though a member of Strathclyde Ambulance Service at the scene is quoted as saying that one of the casualties plucked unconscious from the wreckage of the helicopter "rallied and then died".

Awaiting updates....

Talent Spot

Both a brief illustration, and a reminder, of how today's "comedians" are not a patch on those of yesteryear.

This clip, from the 1939 movie The Flying Deuces, despite being of less than 2 minutes duration, hints nicely at the versatility of both Messrs. Laurel and Hardy.

While Ollie delights with his singing talent, it is not the moon, but Stan who really shines here.

His dancing is simply sublime (dahling!), particularly so the seamless step segue at 1.22 (or 32 secs as the YouTube clock runs in reverse...)

The film is in the public domain and can be streamed or downloaded both for free and legally(!) from here.

McCann Enterprises - Double Or Quits?

Not content with already having milked in excess of £1000,000.00 from a sympathetic and gullible public, The Whining Midget™ and Skeletor™ are now scheming to establish an all new fund; a fund dedicated to defending themselves against slurs claims that they were involved in the death of Madeleine McCann.

Let's look first at the objectives of the original fund which were are:


1.1.1 To secure the safe return to her family of Madeleine McCann who was abducted in Praia da Luz, Portugal on Thursday 3rd May 2007;

1.1.2 To procure that Madeleine’s abduction is thoroughly investigated and that her abductors, as well as those who played or play any part in assisting them, are identified and brought to justice;

1.1.3 To provide support, including financial assistance, to Madeleine’s family.

1.2 If the above objects are fulfilled then the objects of the Foundation shall be to pursue such purposes in similar cases arising in the United Kingdom, Portugal or elsewhere.



1.1.1. Is unworthy of comment in the context of this article, due to the complete absence of any evidence supporting the McCanns' assertion that an abduction occurred.

1.1.2. Change only the words "abduction" to read "death", and "abductors" to read "killers" and we have:

1.1.2 To procure that Madeleine’s death is thoroughly investigated and that her killers, as well as those who played or play any part in assisting them, are identified and brought to justice;


Given the most recent developments, might this mean that the million pounds donated to the "Leaving No Stone Unturned" fund might be used to subsidise the ongoing police investigation into the McCanns and their feckless friends?

After all, there is no evidence to date that this money has served any useful purpose; rather it seems to have been used for junketing and retaining the services of the world's worst PR spokesperson.


1.1.3 To provide support, including financial assistance, to Madeleine’s family.

The McCanns are reported to have tried, and failed to invoke this objective as a means of raising cash for their legal defence.

Speaking on their behalf, "family friend" and PR Spinmeister David Hughes said:

“Gerry and Kate’s view is that if they take money from the fund, it might be that 90 per cent of people who made donations aren’t bothered about it. But if 10 per cent of people are bothered about it, they don’t want to upset them. They want to take the controversy out of the situation.”


And so a new fund - or at least the notion of one, is born. (I wonder if any of it would be set aside to offset any costs or inconvenience incurred by the third arguido, and patsy, Robert Murat?)


Now call me naive (and that is all I am) - but I get to wondering how many people were subject to the due process of a trial in the UK and Portuguese Courts today. And how many yesterday, and how many tomorrow?

All of them will enter the dock with the benefit of a presumption of innocence of the charges that they face. Many of them will have scrimped or sold possessions in order to fund their defences.

So why is it that, these two arrogant bastards feel that they can again ponce off of the gullible and the misguided?

The Pope Is A Hypocritical Twat

His Popiness the Pope, Benedict XVI has today appealed for "renewed respect for Sundays".

"Give the soul its Sunday, give Sunday its soul.... leisure time is certainly something good and necessary, especially amid the mad rush of the modern world...."

What a load of hypocritical bollocks.

If he really meant it, he wouldn't have been out there grafting this morning would he? He'd have done the same as me, laid-in until two 'o clock this afternoon, then necked a dozen Stellas down the pub.

Senile twat.

Afterthought: does that mustachioed, suspicious looking character in the picture have something unusual growing out of the end of his conk? And is he trying to stick it somewhere he shouldn't?

Sky News Hacked?

Sky News Hacked?

"The twins Sean and Amelie stumbled on the steps as they boarded. They were reported to have been heard saying it had been their best-ever holiday."

Update: well, that was short lived. Move along, nothing to see here...

Run, Rabbits, Run...

With apologies to Peter, Paul and Mary...

There's so many times we've let you down
So many times we've played around
We tell you now, they never meant a thing
We're leaving, on a jet plane
Fuck you, we won't be back again...

Throw The Book At Them

No Comment yet.

Well What Do You Know?

Now there's a fucking surprise.

The total cnuts even tried to sneak this one out under the radar of the ongoing McCann developments.

Bastards.

Justine McGuinness - Family Spokesperson Extraordinaire

Justine McGuinness - naive?

Christ on a bike, she would do Chemical Ali proud.

While media outlets as diverse as Sky News the BBC and even The Leicester Mercury begin to stir from their collective amnesia / slumber, and actually smell the coffee, I just caught what appears to be a live news feed on BBC News 24 of Comical Ali dear Justine continuing to spout the official McCann line:

"They (the PJ) believe that they have evidence that Kate was somehow involved in the death of her daughter.... these suggestions are shocking.... ludicrous ....they made a series of ridiculous allegations....

Kate is a loving and caring mother.... she dotes on all of her children.... there is a fear that she may be arrested for a crime that she certainly did not commit....

Let's remember that they (the McCanns) are victims.... Kate wants to appeal to the British public to continue looking for Madeleine...."


While the outpourings of anger, disbelief and indignation expressed by long-standing friends and family members are, by varying degrees, understandable, excusable and deserving of public sympathy - McGuinness' own continued, misguided, and paid-for loyalty, is not.

Her perspective on the McCanns is based, presumably, on nothing more than her short acquaintance with them as their Spokesperson (plus pieces of silver).


Question occurs: just how many pieces of silver must she be getting for this?


Update: Judas McGuinness can now be seen perpetuating a similar web of deceit on Sky News.

The McCanns - The McPlot Thickens....

And so to the BBC who report today that the Ice Maiden is this afternoon due to be reinterviewed by Portuguese Police.

While she will be accompanied by her lawyer, Carlos Pinta da Specialbreu, she will, on this occasion, be without Cuddle Cat Cuddle Hippo her husband, Gerry McCann.

What can it all mean?

Update: The Postman has a far more informative post here.

McCanns - New Slurs Just In

Today's front page news from Correio da Manhã:

"Fluídos biológicos de Maddie foram encontrados pelo laboratório de Birminghan nas amostras enviadas pe-la Polícia Judiciária para Inglaterra.

O CM sabe que estes vestígios – resíduos de sangue não perceptíveis a olho nu encontrados no apartamento do Oce-an Club e no carro alugado pelos McCann – já se encontram na posse da PJ e deverão determinar desenvolvimentos imediatos do caso. O mais importante deverá ser um novo interrogatório aos pais de Madeleine e a alguns dos amigos do casal que se encontravam de férias no Algarve quando a criança desapareceu.

Estes desenvolvimentos baseados nos resultados das amostras biológicas são hoje também noticiados por vários jornais ingleses que apontam para a realização de detenções nas próximas 48 horas. As amostras mais importantes, das dezenas que foram enviadas para Inglaterra, deverão ter sido as recolhidas no apartamento dos Mc-Cann na Praia da Luz, em particular no chão e num armário na casa onde posteriormente a família se instalou e no carro que alugaram depois de a menina ter desaparecido.

Estas amostras foram recolhidas depois de os cães pisteiros ingleses terem sinalizado vestígios biológicos de sangue e odor de cadáver em roupas de Kate McCann."


"Biological traces of Madeleine McCann have have been detected in the samples send by Portuguese Police to the laboratory in Birmingham, England.

The traces of blood - not visible to the naked eye - found at the Ocean Club apartment and in the car rented by the Mcann’s - have been returned to Portuguese authorities and further developments are believed to be imminent.

Both Madeleine’s parents and a number of their friends who were on holiday in the Algarve when the child disappeared, face fresh interrogation by the police.

The most compelling of the samples were collected from the floor and closet of the villa which the McCann family moved to following Maddie's disappearance, and from the hire car rented from the McCanns several weeks later.

These samples were collected after the English dogs signalled biological traces of blood and of a scent of a corpse in clothes belonging to Kate Maccann..."

Respec' Innit?

Kathleen Jennings

And so to the Daily Mail, which reports today on the broken windows policy that has been adopted by Merseyrail in attempting to combat anti-social behaviour on their fleet of trains, and the consequences for one Kathleen Jennings, who was summonsed to appear in Court for "wilfully interfering with the comfort or convenience" of other passengers.

Her offence? She chose to place her feet on a seat on the train.

Wails Miss Jennings: ""I am not the sort of person who would do anything wrong, I have never been in trouble before .... I do not want a criminal record."

Her father chips in: "It's ridiculous. Why couldn't a fixed-penalty notice be given? She could end up with a criminal record..... it's madness.... she is a good, considerate girl."


Yes indeed. Though clearly not considerate enough to not despoil the on-train furniture with her filthy trotters, it would make my day if this little corner of England's underclass was sent down for two weeks.

Hats off to Merseyrail says I, the only train operating business in the UK to vigorously publicise and pursue a "no-feet-on-seats" policy.


Update: the BBC are reporting that the ignorant little sow got only an absolute discharge from Chester Magistrates. No fine, no costs, no fuck-all.

Chairman of the Bench, Christine Abrams, is quoted as saying:

"The bench is united in feeling while this may have been contrary to a by-law, Merseyrail should have a less draconian method for dealing with matters of this nature."

Well damn you, damn your bench, and damn your eyes, Abrams, you politically correct coward. Do you ever travel on a train, a tram or a late night bus? Or do you, as is more likely, ensconce yourself within the safe and sterile confines of a Volvo or Saab?

You have, today, spurned the perfect opportunity to send out a wake-up call to these brattish, ill-mannered, ignorant, loutish, anti-social scum whose behaviour is endured daily by a disaffected, and frequently intimidated, British public.

And while the scum are sticking two fingers up at you, you are guilty of sticking two fingers up at us.

The Weekly Wizard - The Cardiologist And The Testicles

In homage to a Light in the Darkness, and The Daily Merlin:


Transcript
Weekly Wizard Insight (using the Creche of the Warner Tarot)
1st September 2007
14:33pm - 14:34pm
UK


'Wild guesswork and speculation around Kate & Gerry McCann using the significators The Cardiologist & The Testicles' ...

Almost incredibly unbelievably, the Ice Maiden and the 5 of Testicles have appeared in association with these significators. The Sol and The Fool have been closely associated with numerous insights over the previous months.

Another very, very inconceivably uncanny occurrence is the complete absence of any discernable number sequence from left to right, beginning with the Ice Maiden on the left and terminating with the furry accessory.

I have gleaned from this remarkable sequence that somewhere in this situation, a mystery of sorts remains unresolved....if I can only intuit what the mystery is, then I should have some realistic chance of solving it...

Something, or more likely, somebody has most definetely been out of order. Indeed the 14 of Vinos reversed indicates dulled senses as all of the bottles have been emptied...

The only other reversed card in the sequence is "The Cardiologist"; this suggests strongly to me that there is some connection between the empty wine vessels and the cardiologist, but I am getting no further insights now as to what this might mean...

What might be the significance of "The Patsy" here ... I have used the runes in collaboration with this reading, and the letters "RM" came through to me... though I am reluctant to pursue this aspect now as I am unable yet to fathom the significance of these letters...

Note the absence within this reading, of the card "The Nine of Tapas"; where this card has previously featured regularly in my readings, it is, on this occasion, absent...this suggests to me that the number 9 may, or may not be significant to events.

The presence in this reading of the "Furry Accessory" in conjunction with the "Five of Testicles" suggests that there is some relationship between the accessory and many testicles, though again I presently glimpse only shadows through the mist: I will however, divulge more in relation to this once sufficient light falls on the shadows.

Much on which to muse upon....

The almost absurdly inconceivably unbelievable conjunction of "The Cardiologist", The "Ice Maiden", the "Furry Accessory" and the "Testicles" leads me to believe that someone, somewhere, is suppressing the truth, though I suspect that the full significance of this may not come to light for some not inconsiderable period of time yet.

Below the middle line of 4 cards is the representation of the opposition to Gerry & Kate shown by "The Sol" and "The Fool".

The very presence of "The Fool" suggests to me that someone, somewhere is withholding information from the enquiry.... though I cannot now glean who that person, or those people might be...

Conversely, "The Sol" - which is in opposition to "The Fool" - may yet prove to be a credible source of information and valuable to the enquiry.


Next week: Beating alcoholism, with Paul Gascoigne.