What A Load Of Bollocks

By way of what is quite possibly the single most mind-numbingly tedious document it has ever been my displeasure to peruse, some London based Market Research Organization reports that public confidence in our Government's ability to successfully execute the Olympic ideal in 2012 is somewhat less than total....

The BBC distil and report on elements of the document under the banner headline

Public 'fearing Olympics failure'.

"Nearly nine out of 10 Britons do not think the government is capable of managing the 2012 Olympics"

Only 9 out of 10? And does it really take 48 pages of meaningless figures and faff to suggest that the 2012 Games are destined to be nothing but an utter fucking shambles? (How much did Opinium charge for this horse-shit? And - more pertinently - who paid for it?)

Mark Hodson, head of research at Opinium, is quoted by the BBC as saying:

"Nearly a third of Brits still think that the Games will not provide any long-term benefits to the UK".

Hodson's statement implies that some two-thirds or more of Briton's do believe that there will be some long term benefit. Just who the fuck are these people?

Predictably, a Government 'Droid Department for Culture, Media and Sport spokesman is also quoted in the BBC report, saying:

"We have in place the experience and expertise... to deliver a fantastic Games and long term legacy that will benefit millions of people for decades to come."

Correction: this government have the experience and expertise to lie and cheat, line their own pockets, bully the populace and.... that is about it. And as far as that legacy and those benefits as espoused by the 'Droid go, I rather suspect that the Government has already started as it means to go on...

Bastards, one and all.

Cunt Of The Month

While this page would normally at this time feature a "Cunt Of The Week" post, the breathtaking arrogance and stupidity of one very special man has forced a rethink here at Gooseburger Towers, and some new accolade is required.

Yes, Tony Parsons, alleged journalist and failed novelist has outcunted all of the competition to such a dizzying degree, that there is no realistic chance of him being overhauled any time soon, hence his being crowned EQG's Cunt Of The Month.

In fewer than three-hundred words, Parsons exhibits the most appalling ignorance and xenephobia toward Britain's oldest allies: he attacks the integrity and professionalism of the Portuguese Ambassador, the Portuguese Police and the Portuguese Media, and he even takes to task the Portuguese Public, referring to them as "leering bumpkins".

His finishing touch is to advise the Portuguese Ambassador to Britain, Senor Antonio Santana Carlos thus:

"if you can't say something constructive.... then you just keep your stupid, sardine-munching mouth shut."

Three Four things immediately occur:

1) Shut up, Parsons, you utter cunt.
2) You got something against fish, Parsons? Might explain why your ex-wife prefers women you putrid little sausage-jockey.
3) The Press Complaints Commission will be interested in Parson's views on the Portuguese; he has blatantly contravened sections 12(i) and (ii) of the PCC's Code of Practise; please feel free to vent your feelings about this article and register a formal complaint.
4) I am so ultra-pissed at this cunt, I can feel a whole new blog coming on....

Richard Branson - A World Beating Mong

Tycoon, magnate, mogul, nabob and peoples' hero Richard Branson, is quoted thus in today's Daily Telegraph online:

"....people generally accept around the world that the Portuguese police and press overstepped their mark."

His comments relate to the stance taken by the Portuguese Police in conferring arguido status upon those other two globe-trotters, paragons of virtue, child abandonment professionals to the Queen, and International Ambassadors for Neglected Children Everywhere,* Kate and Gerry McCann.

Take a note, Mr Branson; the legal process of a national state - any national state - is the concern of the state in question, and is none of your fucking business.

Your concern for the McCann parents' "dilemma" is as transparent and as false as your cuddly nice-guy image. You are a ruthless, self-serving businessman, who probably thinks altruism was a U.S. President.

This is either the worst business judgement you have made (and there have been a few - including that little episode in 1971 when you defrauded HM Customs) - or the establishment big boys really have got to you.

Either way, please do the world a favour. Next time you decide to act the hero and leap off of a tall building, please be kind enough to dispense with the harness first?


*Except Portugal, apparently.

McCann Enterprises - Double Or Quits?

Not content with already having milked in excess of £1000,000.00 from a sympathetic and gullible public, The Whining Midget™ and Skeletor™ are now scheming to establish an all new fund; a fund dedicated to defending themselves against slurs claims that they were involved in the death of Madeleine McCann.

Let's look first at the objectives of the original fund which were are:


1.1.1 To secure the safe return to her family of Madeleine McCann who was abducted in Praia da Luz, Portugal on Thursday 3rd May 2007;

1.1.2 To procure that Madeleine’s abduction is thoroughly investigated and that her abductors, as well as those who played or play any part in assisting them, are identified and brought to justice;

1.1.3 To provide support, including financial assistance, to Madeleine’s family.

1.2 If the above objects are fulfilled then the objects of the Foundation shall be to pursue such purposes in similar cases arising in the United Kingdom, Portugal or elsewhere.



1.1.1. Is unworthy of comment in the context of this article, due to the complete absence of any evidence supporting the McCanns' assertion that an abduction occurred.

1.1.2. Change only the words "abduction" to read "death", and "abductors" to read "killers" and we have:

1.1.2 To procure that Madeleine’s death is thoroughly investigated and that her killers, as well as those who played or play any part in assisting them, are identified and brought to justice;


Given the most recent developments, might this mean that the million pounds donated to the "Leaving No Stone Unturned" fund might be used to subsidise the ongoing police investigation into the McCanns and their feckless friends?

After all, there is no evidence to date that this money has served any useful purpose; rather it seems to have been used for junketing and retaining the services of the world's worst PR spokesperson.


1.1.3 To provide support, including financial assistance, to Madeleine’s family.

The McCanns are reported to have tried, and failed to invoke this objective as a means of raising cash for their legal defence.

Speaking on their behalf, "family friend" and PR Spinmeister David Hughes said:

“Gerry and Kate’s view is that if they take money from the fund, it might be that 90 per cent of people who made donations aren’t bothered about it. But if 10 per cent of people are bothered about it, they don’t want to upset them. They want to take the controversy out of the situation.”


And so a new fund - or at least the notion of one, is born. (I wonder if any of it would be set aside to offset any costs or inconvenience incurred by the third arguido, and patsy, Robert Murat?)


Now call me naive (and that is all I am) - but I get to wondering how many people were subject to the due process of a trial in the UK and Portuguese Courts today. And how many yesterday, and how many tomorrow?

All of them will enter the dock with the benefit of a presumption of innocence of the charges that they face. Many of them will have scrimped or sold possessions in order to fund their defences.

So why is it that, these two arrogant bastards feel that they can again ponce off of the gullible and the misguided?